Dear Elsie Jane,

Today you learned a hard lesson. On the almost-six-hour drive back from Jacksonville (visiting our former neighbors), we stopped at a roadside fruit and vegetable market to get out of the car and stretch our legs, use the restroom, run around, etc. You've been talking about peaches for a while, so we went to the stand and bought some. While we were waiting to check out, you kept trying to put your hands in the bin of half-shelled pecans, but I read the sign to you (Use Scoop Only) and told you that if you wanted to try their peach ice cream, that you needed to stop touching. You said, "Yes, Ma'am."

When I finally had the ice cream in hand, I went to give you a bite, and when you opened your mouth, there were crushed up pecans in your teeth. At first, I was surprised, and then I asked you what it was. You told me that it was peach ice cream. We talked about lying and how if you take food without paying for it, that you are stealing. So, we marched right back over to the cashier and you had to apologize to her for what you had done. But, that wasn't the hard lesson.

The hard lesson was when Oscar and I finished the ice cream, and you couldn't have any. I stood by my word that in order to have ice cream you needed to stop touching the pecans. You had not obeyed, and therefore you would suffer the logical consequences. From the back seat you screamed and cried and carried on, but I think that you were trying to deal with the shame and anger at yourself. You did not get any ice cream from me that day.

When you become a mother, I'm telling you that it will be hard to stick by what you say the consequences will be, but I need you to know that it is imperative that you do. You can not be swayed by tantrums and tears. You can NOT give in. Consistency develops character. I'm saying this because I'm hoping saying it aloud will help me be better at it. It's hard--really hard--to be consistent. And consistency is perceived as fairness, so there you go.

You're four, right? So, I know that I'm going to have a ton of more opportunities to stand by my word when you disobey. Have I mentioned that you are a spirited child? This is the nice word people use for mischievous. I might also add creative and imaginative into that definition. I am in awe of your personality, sweet girl.

I love you,
Mama